New treatment

Trust me! It’s for your own good.

I have just discovered a new treatment for high blood pressure. But it will probably help more than just high blood pressure. It will most likely allow you to live normally, without the fear of high blood pressure and everything associated with high blood pressure on a daily basis.

Well, it’s not really a treatment like, say, penicillin is for strep throat, but it should work to prevent bad cases of high blood pressure so I am going to call it a treatment nonetheless. You can still get high blood pressure if you use this treatment, but early 3 month data suggests it might make your case less severe. Unfortunately the word is might. Also we don’t have data past three months yet as to its safety and efficacy, but trust me, Big Pharma wouldn’t manipulate any data to make a buck and keep shareholders happy.

We are in a pandemic of high blood pressure so this new treatment seems very necessary.

So full speed ahead, no looking back.

Since high blood pressure is related to heart disease, strokes and organ damage, I think it’s pretty important that we move quickly, some would say at warp speed. In fact, I think we should mandate that all adults with a risk of developing high blood pressure should use this treatment before they have time to think through everything themselves. Better safe than sorry and no time like the present. So many people have high blood pressure that it really is a crisis that needs strong intervention, like it or not. People should stop complaining and just take the treatment for the greater good of society.

While there are many diet and lifestyle hacks to help reduce or eliminate high blood pressure, who wants to do those? It’s much easier to just take a treatment, that way you can go on living your life the way you want to, without having to change any of your habits that might be contributing to your high blood pressure.

We call this, the miracle of Big Pharma. Our governmental bodies such as the FDA and CDC understand this very well. So well because the heads of these agencies seem to play musical chairs as to whether they work for the government or Big Pharma. Round and round we go, where it stops nobody but Big Pharma and Washington D.C. knows.

Who doesn’t agree that we should never let a new drug go to waste? We need to keep supporting the stock price of our pharmaceutical industry as most retirement accounts are dependent on Big Pharma stock prices. You do want a more comfortable retirement with a side of pills, right?

Some lifestyle causes of high blood pressure include smoking, alcohol use, being overweight, diabetic and inactivity. Actually the last three are metabolic imbalances centered around or contributing to insulin resistance but I digress. Who wants to fix insulin resistance naturally when it’s so much easier to pop a pill? Really, it is just so much easier to pop a pill or take an injection than to stop smoking, stop drinking and fix your diet.

I just had a better idea.

While this new treatment should first be used just for people with high blood pressure, we should actually make it available to all adults, because most adults will end up with high blood pressure at some point in their lives. I bet you do not know an adult who does not have high blood pressure. No one will remain at low risk all their lives so let’s get started early with treatment. Why not start protecting everyone now regardless of present risk? What’s good for Grandma and Grandpa should be good for everyone!

Wait!

I have yet another idea.

Sorry they just keep flowing into my head.

We should start the high blood pressure treatment early on young adults and kids. I know I know. Children do not have high blood pressure and are not at risk but this new treatment could possibly prevent high blood pressure in their future. We should make this a prerequisite for high school and college admissions. We don’t really have any completed trials that prove this treatment would be helpful if instituted in these young age groups, but we should just assume that it will work. Science today is based more on hope and feelings than actual common sense logic so we should probably get ready to line up the kids for treatment.

Perhaps we should put the treatment in their meals? If they follow the wonderful Standard American Diet then we put the treatment in their processed cereal, pop tarts, soda and pizza. Wait. We can put the treatment in their Happy Meals. They will never know. This would definitely make it easier to give while at the same time supporting the stock prices of our processed food companies. Let’s make sure our kids are indoctrinated very early to always believe that early unproven treatments are good for them just because they are and the powers that be say so. We should not allow or teach independent thought about their own body and health. Where would that get us?

It really should be our goal to fully support Big Pharma and Big Food. They are our future and our health protectors. Our politicians agree as most of them get major campaign contributions from them for their election efforts. No worries though. Our politicians never let their fund raising and contributors get in the way of their political views. Never! Besides, Big Food knows how to give us very nutritious food. In fact they have labs all over the world working on making synthetic food for us to eat. Synthetic food must be better than natural food. Food scientists know more about nutrition than farmers, ranchers and Mother Nature. It’s surprising humans have lived this long on Earth without food scientists.

The extra special promise of this new treatment is that it will most likely only be needed for about 2-3 weeks. That should be enough time to slow the spread of high blood pressure. But there is a slim chance that the treatment may need to be used again in the future, sort of like to boost their effectiveness. I have heard that if these boosters are needed it would probably be in like 6 months. But future boosters after that could be even sooner, like in 3-4 months, to not let the new treatment lose its effectiveness. I’m not sure after that as no testing has actually been done on the booster treatment efficacy, but no worries, just trust the treatment!

Side effects of the new treatment?

I don’t think we need to worry about side effects of the new treatment. We have a great reporting system whereby healthcare professionals can submit side effects to a database to make sure everything is working as planned. It only takes 30-60 minutes for each entry and our healthcare professionals have more than enough time to do this as our healthcare workers usually have a ton of free time on their hands. We have a similar system for vaccine side effects called VAERS. It is thought that as many as 1-10% of actual side effects are reported. We wouldn't want to have to read thru 100% of side effects so why report all of them??

Healthcare professionals will have even more free time soon as many are leaving the workforce because they don’t want this new treatment. Can you truly believe healthcare professionals do not want a new medical treatment for themselves? You would think they would know better. No worries though. Less workers usually equals better productivity, greater job satisfaction and less errors. I mean, why should an RN in a hospital only be responsible for 5 patients at a time instead of 9?

The new treatment will increase productivity as, well, healthy workers are always more productive. Since high blood pressure lowers productivity it is more proof we should mandate all workers, even those at low risk, take this new high blood pressure treatment. It should probably be a question for all potential new hires as well. I mean, we want healthy workers. Actually we should make it a new requirement for all workers, even those that have been working for many years. If they don’t want to be more productive and take the new treatment, well then they can find another job.

You know what’s strange?

I hear there are some docs out there who think they can fix high blood pressure without medications. They think we don’t necessarily need this new treatment. Can you believe them?

Somehow they think that:

Reducing smoking and alcohol can reduce blood pressure.

Lowering insulin resistance can reduce blood pressure.

Improving sleep can reduce blood pressure.

Getting stress under control can reduce blood pressure.

Balancing out your minerals and water balance can control high blood pressure.

They must be living in the Caveman age if they think they can deprescribe or reduce/eliminate high blood pressure medications with the above lifestyle hacks. #SMH.

I guess these docs have not read the Big Pharma PDR or seen all the wonderful television ads for all the Big Pharma treatments. We should probably make it a requirement for docs to watch all the ads. It can be part of their continuing medical education requirement. That would change things for the better.

The future is now.

This new treatment is so safe and so awesome, even with only 3 months of testing, trust me, I am a doctor, that we should pass some laws that checks blood pressures before you enter a public building. If your blood pressure isn’t good, then either you have to go home and quarantine until it gets better, or start the treatment.

You know what though? That is not fair. If your blood pressure is high but you are already on the new treatment you should not be penalized. You are doing your part for society. You are taking the new treatment and you should be rewarded. You should be allowed in any building you want. Better yet, just show proof that you are on the treatment and you can go anywhere you want regardless of your blood pressure, because, you know, it's not really about the high blood pressure, is it?

If you are on the new treatment you are a good person.

If you are not on the new treatment, well Shame Shame on you!

Wait a moment.

Am I still discussing high blood pressure or the treatment?

Am I trying to get high blood pressure under control or push a new treatment without long term testing?

Are they one and the same?

Now I am really confused!